Tumblr has been down for almsot twenty hours, it is awful. I've just been on 8tracks and thrilld a lot.

My chem lab and chem test are tomorrow and I am literally going to fail. My lab is beyond awful and empty.

I went to a concert with Ben last night, good times. It was really cold though.
It's difficult dating with a deadline, but maybe it will work out.
Don't get me wrong, I love dating Benny so very much, but sometimes it gets to you. We try to avoid it. He might stay in Vermont and it can still work maybe. Being realistic is no fun.

Sometimes I feel like my life has completely changed and I'm not sure how I like it. It isn't a bad change. It is just different.

These feelings won't go away.

Today was rather bad.
And now ben is pretty much ignoring me to go smoke.

High School is just so ridiculous.
I've been so emotional this week. I started crying today for no reason, I was just stressed over nothing.
I don't sleep either anymore. I wake up so much.

Do you ever wonder if we are being controlled? Like America is just one propaganda machine and really we have it the worst and our government is the craziest?

The holidays just stress me out. I don't have any money and I have so much to buy. I know my dad cant afford to get me anything really but I still feel bad and I don't want to be a burden.

Kate Nash has such a pretty voice it astounds me.

Ben and I have lots of little fights its quite frustrating. Plus I think he actually thinks we could have a future. Its all hormones I'm sure. Becoming attached to someone you know is going to leave and party and hook up with random girls in less than a year is quite terrifying. Plus he is not my type at all and his friends pressure me so much. He is quite wonderful though.

I should shower and do some homework. I'm not sure how much longer this can go on.